This morning, as I was driving back from my doctor appt that I had in Norfolk (about an hour away), the traffic was light and while I should be paying strict attention to my driving, my thoughts tended to wander.
And to be honest, now that I’m home, I don’t remember what I was thinking about that led me to thoughts of our oldest granddaughter.
Between my DH and I, we have 6 children, and 10 grandchildren. 3 of the grandchildren are by my children, the rest by DH’s children. But I claim each and every one of them as mine! That’s what grandparents do.
We may not be able to see the children and grandchildren very often, as everyone has very busy lives. And that too is what life is all about. Seeing them every once in awhile – mostly on holidays or for a weekend cook out during the summer.
Our oldest granddaughter is from our oldest son’s first marriage. As happens with young people, getting married young and having children young, they went their separate ways – but we still had his daughter to our home for get togethers even if it was only for Thanksgiving and Christmas, as she was part of this family.
Many of the pictures on our gallery wall and on the frig are of this granddaughter. So even tho she lived with her mom and step father, we embraced her whenever we could.
That has all changed and we don’t know why. Recently we found out that she had her last name (which is our family name) legally changed to the last name of her step father. While her ‘real’ father and she were estranged, and we could understand that she wanted to honor her step father for being there for her, it hurt.
Not once in the last 18 months has she acknowledged birthday cards, invites to Thanksgiving and Christmas or the Christmas gifts (usually money – as we have no clue what to buy for a teen-ager) we sent her. Nor did she let us know that she was changing her name.
Sure, it would probably have been a good thing for us to call her every once in awhile to see how she was doing, what she was taking in college, how life in general was treating her. Perhaps she is angry at us for not being able to attend her high school graduation. We do not know what has caused this estrangement from the whole family, and probably will never know.
Perhaps, because she has grandparents from her mother’s side of the family as well as grandparents from her step father’s side of the family, she didn’t feel the need to have an extra set. Whatever the reason – we will miss her!
Good luck with your life girl – we definitely will miss you. Your pictures will remain on our wall and frig as we still consider you part of this family. Perhaps sometime in the future – you will consider us part of yours again.
Grandma
