A friend of mine sent this to me this morning – and I’ve got tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Just could not resist sharing it with you!

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and Preferred
to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like Most women – she
loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the Following letter from
the local Target.

Dear Mrs.Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in Our
store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban Both of
you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr.
Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
Cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s
carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
Intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
‘Code
3 in Housewares.. Get on it right away! This caused the employee To leave
her
assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn
resulted with a union grievance, causing Management to lose time and costing
the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
Layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the Children
shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and Blankets from
the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying And
screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
Mirror
while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he Asked
the
clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming The
‘Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’
By using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
Yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he Assumed
a
fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, Then
yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of The
clerks
passed out.

Sandi